Emmett and his freakout list
by Warrioroftheseventhstar
Summary: Emmett is makeing a list of things he can do to freak his family out. But he also adds in Bella. He reaches into the dark places of his mind to make the list. But will the family find out that such a list is real? This is a ONESHOT! Please R&R!


Put lots of balloons on your clothes, and run into the nearest occupied room and yell "The balloons are eating me! Someone help"

Stare at Bella and lick lips will thinking how hungry you are. (Only do if Edward is nearby)

While all the rest of the people are hunting, you steal their cars and make them all hot pink, except for Alice, make hers pock-a-doted.

Tell the family that the mountain lion lived after Edward bite it and look horrified.

Dance around will shouting "The watermelons are pigs without legs". Warning: If Jasper is around he may call the funny farm…………like last time.

Tearing up at the bad part of the movie that Bella picked and laughing when a character died, will screaming "Look at the dead guy!"

Bring lots of pizza home and say that you don't want Bella to have to eat it all so you make EVERYONE eat it except you because a bear is attacking stuff and only you hear it.

Run home and yell that the fuzzy rats are coming to kill everyone.

Get lots of wooden stakes and say that there is a vampire near you. Stare at Bella.

Come home eating a burger. Spit out and say "I just had one yesterday, why does this on suck?" Make sure to look confused.

Get lots of bottles of holy water and pour them on yourself while exclaiming "Why don't they burn me?"

Paint big bowls of fruit all over the house on the walls and pout when no one comments on the fine work you did.

Move everyone's furniture to the back yard and sit in the middle of the house and ask loudly "Where is my ball?"

Jump in the room and dance around shaking your butt at everyone.

If anyone tries to leave the room will you are doing what is in #14 you chase them with your butt and rub it on them when you catch them.

Making a fort out of Edwards CD's and peeking out of them and then throwing water balloons will yelling "The French are coming! The French are coming!"

Watching 'Die hard' and when some of the characters fight you cry and say that they are so sensitive.

Singing: I like to eat, eat, eat people and Bella, over and over again.

Get Rose's favorite dress and wear it to the family time, with make-up and hair.

Go and buy and watermelon, and a black sharpie. Draw a pig face and ears on the end that doesn't have a stem. Carry it around the house and say that it is your new best friend.

Look thoughtful while some one is in the room. When someone asks what you are thinking about you answer that you were wondering the difference between Death as a human and death as a vampire.

When everyone is quiet and they are lost in their own thought, widen your eyes and grin really big smile and laugh evilly.

Dye your hair different colors and ask if anyone has seen your hat because your roots are showing.

Put on one pair of tight jeans and then put on multiple pairs of cheerleader shorts and then walk around.

Tie Bella up with duck tape and put her in my room and when Edward asks where she is tell him "You always have to look out for those quiet ones." Warning: You may sustain multiple injuries from Edward, Alice, Jasper (because Alice and Bella ganged up on him), and Bella.

Wearing clothing that is fifteen sizes too big and asking "Do I look fat?"

When Alice is in the shower, take ALL her clothes and say they were going to kill Alice if she put them on.

Put on a hula skirt and Coconut Bra and wear it to school will paying special attention to hang around Family and Edwards's girlfriend.

Get in a bathing suit, and jump in a swimming pool sized bowl of melted chocolate. Exclaim how nice it is and ask the rest of the family to join you.

Giving Aluminum foil to all the dogs in town and then rolling yourself in a ball of it and rolling around the house.

Running around and will saying your hairy chest is eating you!

Drawing beards and long eyelashes on all the objects in all pictures in the house.

Inspecting all the trophies that Bella may have won and ask why none of them look like her.

Ask Alice if she has seen Wilbur. When asked what is Wilbur say, "Don't you remember me telling you that Watermelons are pigs without legs? Well he is my new best friend that is a Watermelon/pig – the legs.

Find all the quarters in the house and get a red sharpie and color in George Washington's hair. Tell everyone that his real hair color was read and you can prove it. Then show them the quarters.

Go take pictures of Bella and Edward making out in 'their' meadow. Use as black mail to get Edward not to hurt you.

Paint the room with lots of sherbet ice cream. It needs to be raspberry.

Paint lots of penguins on Edwards's walls and three singing penguins on his piano.

Make a dominoes drawing of yourself.

Make a shirt out of Kleenex and wear it to school, and hug Bella a lot.

When everyone is in the same room, get up from your seat and then pretend to faint and fall on Jasper.

Try to reenact the Antietam Battle and make sure to use girly voices and say it was because Jasper had Both the general's (of North and South) In love with him.

Come running out of your room at 3 am and yell "The British are coming! The British are coming!" Then act like some on shot you.

Play horse and make sure to use ONLY people that DON'T want to play.

Wake Bella up by throwing a full bucket of water on her and then ask out loud "Why isn't she melting? Rose said she would!"

Throw a bucket of dark green paint on Alice and then spray her with neon orange paint. Do this right before school, so that she can't go home.

Carry a watermelon around all day and tell everyone that Rose was mean so you turned her into a watermelon because pumpkins didn't suit her.

Tie Edward up and 'pretend' to torture him like in medieval times. Chains and all.

Paint a clown face on Jasper and make him go to school like that.

Burn all of Alice's clothes and then ask why she is mad at you. Act like you don't remember doing anything!

Wear nothing but pink underwear and pink bunny slippers whenever Bella comes over.

Play Pirate and make Edward your naval enemy.

Watch nothing but anime for one week, tell everyone it is the greatest. The next week tell everyone (that is a vampire or Bella) that you are going to rip the next person that watches the stupid Anime in half.

Glare at everyone that comes near you. Then get up and hug them with a smile on your face.

Play super hero and throw mustard on everyone in the house because they are mean villains.

Steal Alice's teddy bear and ……………………………………

"Hey Emmett! What are you doing?" Asked Bella as she walked in the room, closely followed by Alice.

"Hey Bella and Alice! I was just writing a list of things we need from the hard ware store. You need anything?" Emmett was sweating because Bella was trying to read his list. She just wouldn't quit!

"Bella," came Edward's yell for his fiancé, and with his voice came his footsteps and a gasp from Bella. Dang! She had read the paper! Now Edward and Jasper will hurt me. "Bella what's wrong, honey?" His concern for his little lover was just what I needed to make a run for it. But just as I was about to reach the door, Edward grabbed me. "I can read your mind you know. You don't think I don't know that you're trying to make a brake for it?" He looked like he was about to laugh his head off. Good he won't know what is on the paper.

Bella glared at me and stabbed her finger at the paper, "You were going to tie me up with duck tape?!" Edward just tightened his hold on my arm and looked at Bella. Alice walked over to the paper and gasped, but that soon turned into a look of anger.

"WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO TO MY TEDDY BEAR?" Alice was pissed! "JASPER!!" He came walking in the room put stopped when he saw a blank faced Edward, and a fuming Bella and Alice.

"What happened?" He asked not looking at anyone unparticular. Alice couldn't even speak she was so mad. Bella was just stuttering nonsense, and so it was Edward that was my knight in dark smudged armor.

"From what I can gather, Emmett was making a list of things to do to freak everyone out and get them angry. It also seems to be centered on the girls with some things toward us. Now the girls want our help in hurting Emmett. Did I get it right?" To my horror, Bella and Alice nodded and Jasper grabbed my other arm. Then he and Edward dragged me out of the room.

**With Bella and Alice: **

"Do you think that the guys will be too harsh on him?" Bella looked worried and she was always the sensitive one. Why did she have to be the sensitive one?

"No. Read the rest of the list if you think we are being too harsh." Alice passed the paper to Bella, and with each passing second her face got angrier and angrier.

"He wanted to do what to me?!" Now Bella was pissed. Suddenly she gat a very evil grin on her face. "Do you want to do some of this to him while our lovers hold him down?" Alice looked thoughtful and then joined her as they walked out of the room to go to the back yard where all the guys were.

**With Edward, Jasper, and a sad Emmett:**

"No you don't want to put me in that chain thing and then throw stuff at me!" Emmett was doing some weird stuff to get them to let them go.

"We already told you that hypnotizing us will not save you and it is impossible." Jasper was getting fed up with Emmett and was going to enjoy this because of it.

Suddenly the girls came out carrying water balloons and looking at the guy's right when they got done strapping Emmett in. "Hey yawl, Bella and I came up with a fun way to get him back. You want to?" Edward and Jasper looked at each other and shrugged before turning to the girls and nodding. "Great. We felled these balloons with paint and sherbet; we are going to throw these on him because he had this in the list."

So Emmett was covered in permanent paint and raspberry sherbet as a lesson. The moral of this story is don't mess with Bella or Alice's clothes.

THE END!!

Okay now you have to review and tell me how my first Twilight fanfiction was. So please review and thank you for your reading this. Seriously, push that pretty button and write something. Also please do not spam me!!


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